When I recently learned of the death of a musician I think highly of. Besides of being a talented musician, she was something of a comic spark plug, performing brilliant songs with clever lyrics wove into their band and dj performances. I enjoyed watching them for years. She died suddenly at a young age.
I was surprised at how moved I was at the news of her passing. I found the incident sobering. The word sober is usually used as the flip side of being drunk. But when an event sobers us, it dashes cold water on our face to free us from the drunkenness of the meaningless activities we often engage in. We are awakened from the addictive behaviors we use to distract ourselves from our pain. The list of our addictions, hard and soft, is substantial: Drinking, using, drugging, Internet, smartphone, gaming, anxious eating, overworking, compulsive shopping, disconnected sex, neurotic cleaning, mindless babbling, arguing, continual drama, and so on.. All tricks we play on ourselves to stay on and on and on—all tricks we play on ourselves to stay enraptured by emptiness. We each have our preferred escape.
Then something happens that forces us to face ourselves and our lives. A death, divorce, accident, business setback, health issue, legal problem, or weather disaster. Some crisis or emergency. Then we have to think about what is really important and what our priorities are. While such challenges are painful, they are also liberating. They push us to dig into our soul rather than hang out at the shallow surface of our lives. When we go through such difficulties, we resist them. After we graduate from the lessons they bring us, we find deep gratitude.
None of us knows how long we or our loved ones will be here. It could be a very long time or a short time. Some people disappear quickly, without notice. For that reason we must appreciate the people and gifts in our lives while we have them. Don’t take anyone or any situation for granted. Bless it while you have it. Tell your close ones that you love them. Thank them for the good they bring you.
Hopefully you will have lots more time with your loved ones. Just don’t wait until they are gone or almost gone to express your heart to them. Likewise, don’t wait until you find your soulmate, lose 30 pounds, get your dream job, make your first million, or attain nirvana before you appreciate who you are. Now is your big moment to fall in love with yourself. Right where you are. As you are just enough.
love, krishna (kelly)
Intuitive Psychology: Moving On after Breach of Trust
What is Infidelity? It is the breaking of trust that occurs when you deliberately keep intimate, meaningful secrets from your primary romantic partner.
I developed this definition because it focuses not on specific sexual behaviors, but on what ultimately matters most to a betrayed partner – the loss of relationship trust. That is the core of infidelity, and it is what must be repaired when cheaters hope to salvage a deeply damaged primary relationship. In fact, after more than 10 years as a behavioral therapist, I can state undeniably that the process of healing a relationship damaged by infidelity begins and ends with the restoration of trust. Moreover, to repair relationship trust, cheaters must not only come clean — in a general way, with the guidance of an experienced couple’s counselor about what they have done, they must also become painstaking honest about all other aspects of their life, both in the moment and moving forward. If or when your partner has NO willingness to work on this issue, it is NOT safe to move forward with them and no willingness equals no success.
Needless to say, this type of rigorous honesty is neither easy nor fun. And many cheaters will opt for a different approach, which is to continue lying but to try to do it more effectively. This tactic can work, too — for a while. But it does not address the underlying issues that led to the infidelity. Plus, cheaters who fail to get honest about their behavior tend to continue that behavior, no matter how devastating it has already been to their primary relationship. So if a cheater wants to finish off his or her primary relationship once and for all, continued lying is an effective way to go about it.
I truly believe that you could restore trust after infidelity if both partners are willing. But what happens when the other partner is NOT willing and still in denial, And the injured spouse or significant other chooses to move on to heal first from the betrayal and then the time comes where you do desire to open up to someone new in the present or future?
How do you know if this new person is going to repeat the infidelity betrayal cycle or maybe it is true that you could find or attract someone who has potential to remain monogamous and dedicated to one person which can be so helpful to restore trust again in life itself.
Where this post is going is really about How can you Trust again?
Once trust has been betrayed, most people will be less trusting the
next time. The degree of mistrust that is engendered varies between
individuals and with the sensitivity of a particular betrayal. Working professionally as an intuitive for over a decade and growing up in a military, law enforcement, and detective type of family, It is funny now how my ex-thought he could get away with what he was trying to get away with… But also being a clear empath the energy that was transferred into my aura and electromagnetic field, i must say that from an energetic perspective infidelity can be dangerous for the sensitive. However, over a period of time, your trust can be rebuilt with repeated positive experiences. For example, if your husband, boyfriend, lover, significant other is unfaithful, you won’t initially trust the next man you date. But, when a man consistently demonstrates his reliability, actions speak louder than words. These common but painful human experiences contribute to your growth and development.
Trust is at the core of all meaningful relationships. Without trust, there can be no giving, no bonding, no risk-taking.
Here are a few suggestions on how to Trust again…
1. The more slowly that trust returns, the better; slow trust is more likely to have a solid and durable foundation.
2. Be patient with yourself. Your trusting nature is not lost; it’s just a little bruised.
3. Those who are worthy of your trust, they have at least an intuitive understanding of this: Three of the four positive attachment emotions—interest, compassion, and love—are unconditional in healthy relationships.
4. But the fourth, trust, must be earned over time.
5. Focus on self-compassion and then on compassion for others, and you’ll find that trust will sneak up on you, in its own good time.
6. Last but not least…. This is the most important… TRUST YOUR INTUITION.
Sending so much love, peace, and light,
krishna shoshana aka kelly
Your heart is the center of your power. I have learned that you can create easily and effortlessly when you let your thoughts come from the loving space of your heart. Here are a few Heart Thought Suggestions.
I Am Free to Be Me
When we experience sadness, or get upset, give yourself a physical release. There are several methods you can use to release these feelings in positive ways. You can scream in the car with the windows closed. You can kick pillows, make noise and say all the things you want to say. You can scream into a pillow, run around a track, or play a game like tennis to release the energy and those physical tensions you store in your body!
I Create Wonderful New Beliefs about Myself
These are some beliefs that can really help you in your life if you think or say them every day:
I am always safe.
Everything I need to know is revealed to me.
Everything I need comes to me in the perfect time sequence.
Life is a joy and filled with love.
I am willing to change and to grow.
It’s Only a Thought and a Thought Can Be Changed
How many times have you refused to think a positive thought about yourself? Well, you can refuse to think negative thoughts about yourself, too. People say, “I can’t stop thinking a thought.” Yes, you can!
You have to make up your mind that it’s what you’re going to do. You don’t have to fight your thoughts when you want to change things. When that negative inner voice comes up, you can affirm, “Thank you for sharing, and I’m choosing to do something else. I don’t want to buy into that anymore, I want to create another way of thinking.”
Acknowledge your thoughts, don’t fight them and go beyond them.
Louise Hay’s Heart Thoughts is a charming and valuable treasure trove of small pieces of inner wisdom that can guide you through any problem you might face. Now presented in a unique gift format with beautiful illustrations to warm your heart all over again.
Gems of inner wisdom for a specific area of life Heart Thoughts is an easy-to-use, pick-up-and-choose guide to assist you in your day-to-day experiences.
Cooking for your Spirit- ThanksGIVING
In honor of the essence of Thanksgiving, we came up with a few new creative ways to express gratitude to get into the Thanksgiving spirit. Gratitude has been linked to everything from improving happiness, body image, sleep, life, you name it. Instead of consuming spirits we Celebrate this year in the True Spirit of Thanksgiving! It is a gentle reminder to love those at our tables and beyond.
For some a little planning can go a long way especially when you have a history of disordered eating. In the midst of this food-focused holiday event could be far from a relaxing night with friends and family. It is hard to separate events being based in food from the part that is about connecting with people. For those who are trying to prevent triggers to an internal battle with bulumia, binge eating, and anorexia, the holidays are certainly among those experiences to be vulnerable and to know that you are not alone.
Eating disorders often bring about an internal fracturing of mind, body and spirit. It may feel like you have been trapped in your mind by eating disorder thoughts that disconnect you from your body and spirit. Recovery involves reintegrating the mind, body, and spirit, creating an internal sense of wholeness. To embrace this holiday season with the intention of healing Cooking for your Spirit is a healthy guide that lends courage and strength when struggling, and gives a way to express gratitude when all is well.
The Healthy Way
The most healthy way to eat is a way that FEELS good and satisfies you. Because health is so much more than what’s on your plate.
We love that superfoods are multi-taskers—foods brimming with various disease-fighting nutrients, usually without providing too many calories, and delivered in a delicious form. Easy-to-eat, easy-to-find, everyday “super” foods to keep eating healthy simple.
Superfoods are incredibly nutritious, whole foods that offer a wide arrange of essential micronutrients in high quantities, like vitamins and minerals that are needed for our bodies to run smoothly and stay disease-free.
Along with essential nutrients, superfoods can heal because they contain very potent and unique compounds beyond vitamins and minerals that protect the immune system and even kill harmful bacteria in our guts.
These news-worthy compounds like antioxidants, sulforaphanes, and healthy anti-inflammatory fats are just another reason why these foods are so super.
A Tribute to Louise L. Hay
We are disappointed beyond words over the death of Louise. L Hay. As well as millions of people worldwide, Louise L. Hay had a profound influence on many of her fellow Hay House authors.
A teacher, mentor, author and motivational speaker, Louise L. Hay will be missed by many and is irreplaceable.
Heaven has a new angel — Thank you for all of the support and inspiration you gave to us over the years, and for the remarkable work you did on this planet.
While we are sad at her passing, We know that her soul is now free to rest, explore, and teach. She truly IS Divine Light.
We are saying affirmations for her and her family and know she will be shining down upon us all from the other side.