Forgiveness is for your own spiritual growth and happiness. When we hold on to hurt, pain, resentment, and anger it harms us far more than it harms the offender. Forgiveness frees you to live in the present… and allows you to move on. Though it can feel very comforting or powerfully releasing to be forgiven, make no mistake: we do not forgive the other person; we forgive ourselves!
Forgiveness lets us regain our personal power. Our anger, regret, hatred, or resentment towards someone means that we are giving up power to that person.
But more than wanting to forgive, we don’t want to be hurt again.
There is this natural belief that when or if we forgive, then we are not only saying what that person did was okay, we are being vulnerable enough to allow them to hurt us again. Resentment becomes a defense mechanism to protect our heart. I think many of us live with resentment and bitterness not because we want to, but because we’ve confused forgiveness with trust. When you have been hurt; betrayed; abused; cheated on; lied to then it is easy to confuse these two things. In fact, so many people that we talk to often feel like they haven’t fully forgiven because their trust hasn’t been restored.
Forgiveness is a process, but trust is a prized possession. Once your trust has been broken, it becomes even more valuable. Healing doesn’t come all at once. When you’ve been hurt, lied to or betrayed your heart is in a vulnerable state. What you want most is what you used to have.
When you desire any relationship to be restored, begin to communicate everything that will build inner trust. Give the person who’s hurt you an opportunity to earn your trust. Don’t hold them hostage to your suspicions…communicate with them what you desire from them to earn trust.
The currency of any relationship is trust. As we forgive, we free ourselves from bitterness. As we trust, we experience the process of restoration.
love, krishna k.